HANNES HAS LEFT....

First we had to go and say goodbye to my dad. This photo was of him and me at breakfast. He is 85 years old and I had to keep reminding myself that it might be the last time that I may see him. Gee's ms gee's that is not a nice thought hey!!!!! He is still in good health but 85 is not an age that you take lightly.
We had a wonderful weekend with him in Port Alfrd on the eastern cape coast. Tried my best to keep the atmosphere upbeat and cheerful but each time I look at him my hart wanted to break... He is so positive and always with utmost support of what ever we kids do. He keeps good contact and every Sunday I get my sms with a thoght for the week. It took some explaining (at his age odern tegnology is a total mystery) that he can still send the sms to Dubai cel phone number..
We had fligth booked for Monday back to Duban and our flight was cancelled so at SAA expenses !!!!! we were bookedminto a hotel in East London. Wow I did not know that such hotels still exist... But bed was clean and we were fetched very early tuesday morning (not my best time) back to the airport for our fligth to durban. We had to reschedule flight for Hannes to Johannesburg.
This is hannes at Duban airprt before he left. Shit heavy luggage is the middle name of this family... He paid heavily for this but all has to go. Hannes is a clothes horse an had to take all his clothes, documents and watches !!!!!!
Our eldest son Jc collected him for Johannesburg airport as Hannes now does the rest of the goodbyes on his own. He had to greet JC, Rossouw,my brother Mike and his wife Estelle and his mom and brothers.
He seems to be enjoying the visit in gauteng. He is super excited and can't wait for Dubai to now begin.
Our flat has been finalisd in Dubai Marina. 2 bedroom furnished apartment on the 7th floor. Building is called Maina Diamond 2... Has a gym and sauna and steam room in the bulding Whooppeeee I hate gym and sauna !!!!!!!!!!!!! so I am really set hey. I am planning to go to Dubai Mid Agust fir 3 weeks visit and check out the scene.
I do not now how I feel at the moment. It feels so strange like he is on holiday BUT every time I pass his bedsidetable EMPTY his cupboard EMPTY... All his stuff which shows he is there is gone. I tend cry at anything. I feel as if my brein and body have been disconnected as I tend to wander around aimlessly although I still have lots to do.OK here ae my 5 positives for today:
1. Hannes is so happy and ALIVE and well.
2. I have fantastic friends all around me letterally)
3. I see the beautiful ocean all the time.
4. I can go to Dubai in 3 weeks.
5. No pantry in Umdloti................................
Clydene invited me for dinner last night BUT I declined as I was such bad company... So nice to have such good friends who you an honest with.. I need to see her tomorrow though as I miss her .... but first I ust sort out his laptop as I do ot know how to send faxes........ Have tried my nilly off but this thing is not listeneing and the surgery stuff has to continue.....
OK all enough........................

DROS RBY -I WAS SO LUCKY

last night four of us Roatary ladies went for a drink at the Dros in Richards Bay. We met a 17h00.
We had such a wonderful time and stayed until after 20h00. Coming home I thought I was really going to miss all the social and chat. We saw other Roatarians there as well.
I felt good coming home as I did not cry or fall to pieces with the goodbye's
We had laughs about building houses, our kids and all silly girl stuff. Hannes and I had a good evening and it felt as if pressure had lifted. (No reason as all the pressures are still there)
However, this morning one of the ladies phoned to say how lucky we were.
The Dros was held up with AK47's (machine guns for those who do not understand) all the patrons and staff were robbed of everything.
This all happened shortly after we left. I am sick to my stomach.... It is such a public place. Not hidden or dark or seedy. It is at The Richards bay waterfront.
I feel so sorry for all those who were in this ordeal as I can only think of how it might have felt.
So my only big positive today is I was not there at the time.
I am on y way to Durban to fetch Dian after his overseas trip. Really looking forward to seeing this boy of mine .I have missed him a lot.
Hannes only has 3 more days in Richards Bay. This is totally unreal.....
Chat later

5 POSITIVE THINGS TODAY - IF I CAN

I am going to change my attitude and work at some emotional exercises that a dear friend taught me once. I will think 5 positive thought every day. So here goes.
1. Hannes is the positive pole in my life. he is healthy and strong and still in my life because he WANTS to be...



2. I am fun loving and can get up to mischief. I enjoy life and all its funny turns. I do not have a life threatening disease and although i have a headache constantly i do not have a tumor. I can still fell some pain and know it is not bad. 2 pilss and all is sorted.
3. My lovely boys are not this age any more. That cycle has been completed. All 3 my boys are healthy and still in my life. They give me lots of joy and sadness and worries but hey who want boring kids anyway.
4. I have got new people coming to look at our house today. Possibility of selling....
5. My dog Colonel. he absolutely adores me. Although he has a drooling mouth and tends to put it against my leg (which I hate) he never wavers from my side. Looks at me with such love and adoration. It is priceless.
6. I have amazing family. They stick with me through thick and thin.
7. I have the most wonderful friends who are always there for me and love me warts and all.
8. I am going to travel in August to Dubai. A new city to see and explore.
9. I am living in Umdloti for 2 months. My favourite spot.
10. I have things to sell like cars and houses and stuff to get to our new life. Some people don't have anything. I am grateful for my position in life....

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY ( JUST RANDOM THOUGHTS NOT IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE)
1.People.
2.Holidays.
3.Animals.
4.E-mails.
5.Facebook.
6.This blog's comments.
7. Balancing my money.
8. new adventures.
9. Food.
10. Helping others.

I have really pushed the bar here today. I thought I will struggle to get 5 points for each of today's topic's but hey I got to 10 each.
That's good hey!
Ok have to run. Chat later again.

MY MIND IS SCRAMBLED EGGS

These photo's were sent to me today by Ermano. I needed this one today as Hannes is very excited and cannot wait to leave and start his new exciting job and all the new adventures. I am like a sticky substance today, stuck in a rut of who knows what..... I feel like ignoring this week and just sleeping until 1 August arrives. I hate to say goodbye but also know that why we are doing this is for the benefit of Hannes to have a better quality of life. i support that whole hartedly BUT cannot get rid of the emotions of great loss.
here he sits at a table by himself, alone and still he has a smile on his face, waiting for things to start. That is all I see in this photo... I will have to pull up my socks( of emotions) and get back with the program.....
We were in Franschhoek in the cape for a weekend of eating and eating and eating. Was fantastic. Bobby seems to think we "monkeys" are very silly with the "hear no evil Clyde's" "speak no evil Loreta" and "see no evil Ermano" We fully adhered to this photo the whole weekend and we kept very busy with eating. I remember my stomach being so full and sore by Sunday afternoon that I could not sit or stand.......
Are these not just the most gorgeous "four musketeers" you have ever seen. We really live this to the full.....

Still having people rarely looking at our house for sale. had an offer last week But really it was a very laughable one. . . This week is so full and the weekend we fly to my dad to say our goodbye's.
Dian is back from overseas on Wednesday. The choir did very well and got gold medals at the choir Olympics. He seems to have had such a ball. can't wait to hear all the juicy news.
As I said my brain is scrambled eggs at this stage. i think i am writing the biggest bullshit but have to just ramble on the get it out to hear myself think.
This sucks!!!!!! big time .....
I could not sleep last night as my mind is racing all over the place. I had the stomach runs like forever. I know it is only stress but why don't I rather loose my mind completely and sit in a corner and drool from my mouth of froth or something...At least then i am doing something constructive. This running in circles is getting me down.
Tonight Hannes has to hand over all the legal paper work and who is who in the zoo to me.... Then I am on my own with all the decisions and stuff. Oh Boy..................
Enough of this.... I am now going to have a bath, colour my hair, make supper and get constructive..... with mega mugs of coffee.....Hope I make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chat to you all later. Some comment with advise will be good please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THOUGHTS POPPING IN MY HEAD

Had such a sudden urge to speak to this brother of mine this afternoon...... He and Estelle, his wife, were very instrumental and helpful to settle us in Richards Bay. And now I have to start saying goodbye to Richards bay........ Feels so unreal...
He is such a normalizer to my impulsive feelings and just letting them jump out. I love the two of them very dearly. He cooks and entertains and Estelle is always there too with cooking and entertaining. We have been through some interesting times !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good bye , as I said before, is traumatic to me. I hate it. I prefer to say see you later !!!!! I get very attached to funny things like the same road home, the same grocery store or the same cafe.
Now,although i travel and love it, I have to get to all these habits that have to change.
Richards Bay was SOOOOOOOOOOOO very good to us. We arrived here with absolutely nothing.....but with hard work from Hannes and perseverance it seems to have paid off. It will be difficult to leave.
It was always so easy to stoop with Mike and Estelle in Richards bay for coffee, lunch or what ever as we lived a street apart. They have relocated to Gauteng BUT it still felt I could get to them if needed. Now it feels as if I will have to only get there at special occasions. We raised our kids of similar ages together for a long time...... NOW our kids are big and semi independent. The wheel of life continues...
Dokkie and Essie I love you lots and will miss you stacks.
let me get back to supper.

VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS

Coming home from work today I had this absolute longing for some one. This is who popped into my head. Another best friend Aloma and her husband Johnny. They live in the eastern cape and i really do not get enough time to see them regularly but they are always in my thought.
Aloma was a friend who taught me the most valuable lesson in life.....
1. If you have done something tel it like it is. Don't try and make it nicer or less stupid. It takes all the "skinner" away and you never have to worry tomorrow that you might have to better on yesterday's cover up story.
2. Love your friend unconditionally...... She is amazing with this. She loves me unconditionally (That takes some doing !!!!!!!)
Aloma is one of the most positive people I have ever met and she taught me to look for the best in any shitty situation and not dwell on the bad side. Thanks my friend. i am a better person for knowing you..
Well I got home and phoned her straight away. She is just so fabulous... We went on a girls holiday too many years ago. We were four friends and went to look at the flowers on the western coast of South Africa. To say the least we had an absolute ball. We have been firm Friends since then.
I will go down and see them for 5 days before I leave for Dubai...... I can sit and chat to then in my PJ'S until late in the afternoon and then still go long into the night.
ALOMA I LOVE YOU LOTS MY FRIEND AND WILL "BLEDDIE" MISS YOU LOTS. Thanks for always being there for me and for teaching me such wonderful coping skills for life.
The foto's supplied of of Aloma Johnny and me.
Chat later again.

PHOTO'S BRING MEMORIES

Such an african moment.......
This croc is sunning itself on the hippo at St Lucia. What spunk. Something of Africa that I will dearly miss is the wild life.

Us 3 girls giving the "cleavage pose" Are we not just the most devine doll's you have ever seen.
Gesi my dear friend on the dance floor. She moves so well.....
Hannes giving his moves on the dance floor.
This was Clydene's 2nd outfit for the evening. Ermanno with his camera and hip moving actions. he is a mover and a shaker......
The dinner club at Mc Donalds. Having fun. We arrived in a Limo but the drive through could not handle the Limo so we went inside for the party.

Dinner club watching rugby. This was early in the day. After rugby we had a Prawn dinner, dancing and laughing until very early morning. Even played bowls the next day......
Bob. Don't know who he was laughing at but he always looks like this to me when he is having fun. Relaxed, rich and full of laughs.
The table setting before prawns.......
The table in the prawn action.....
Ouboet and ousus on the dance floor......

I was sorting through photo's last night and came upon these gems. It might be a moment thing for us as we were there and still can remember the good feeling and fun. This is what I know I will dearly miss in Dubai. We are such good friends, through thick and thin, good and bad times. It is like a marriage. we all get so totally involved in each other and we discuss and sort and are always there for one another.

To my dear dinner club friends I LOVE THE LOT OF YOU AND WILL MISS YOU STACKS.

We are in the process of getting confirmation on accommodation in Dubai. Will be 2 bedrooms so all of you will have to come for the visit.... The suggestion was that we have a dinner club meeting in Dubai.. I think this will be soooo good....

I said before this is not for sissies.... And that is so true. It is not like going to another town, although I know the world is small, I am really feeling the distance will be such a barrier....

BUT this morning I realised I can chat on Face book. Technology is so fantastic...... Have to keep the possitive ideas rolling hey !!!!!!!

Well I am off.

Chat later again.

YESTERDAY WAS BAD !!!!!

I did not want to do anything yesterday..... I hate unfairness and my day starts with the apartment we decided to take in Dubai is no longer available.... Hannes arrives in Dubai in less than 2 weeks..... massive stress. I thought of going to Dubai and sorting this out by myself BUT time is not on my side now. So it was me back to the agent again.
My car is still not sold.... Nobody is even looking at our house..... My best friend heard that the insurance company found a small loop hole to NOT pay her out for a trip never taken......My other best friend building a house is still not ready to move in as the builders have not finished on time..... Rossouw bicycle has been stolen at varsity.....
I just thought how unfair to all..... No one of us are bad to people .. We tend to just do our best and then this....... Nothing works out.....
I just cancelled yesterday and vegetated on the couch in front of the TV for the whole day until I had to dress for a rotary dinner.
At dinner I was tearful in the Anne' meeting as I had to say goodbye and I am no good at goodbye's.
At dinner thought friends of ours that are in the middle east joined us and that made my day better. here I could chat to some one who is there and has been there for a year. Some questions were answered. I felt a lot better on coming home.

This morning however "faith like potatoes" from my side seems to have helped. We now maybe have new accommodation in Dubai. Seems like someone in Pretoria might be interested in my car.

On a lighter note. We had a fantastic weekend with our Umdloti family at dinner on Saturday. Clydene did "lekker" food and the company was warm and good.
I had far too much tequila (again)))) but it was good.

Sunday Hannes and I came home and just vegetated on the couch.
On my agenda today is flights to my dad to say our goodbye's there next week and then the flights for Hannes to be off to Dubai.
he is still so excited and really looking forward to the new challenge and life style. Strict hours and holidays and exciting new adventures. I am very glad for him. he deserves it after all these years of very hard work and very little time off.

I hope to give more details tomorrow or the next day on our accommodation in Dubai and maybe some foto's. It seems to be an Arabic thing that time is not of any essence...... Seems like Africa hey!
Cheers for now.

FAT AND CONFUSED

I am eating myself into a standstill again. These foto's were taken a few years ago when i was at my fattest. If I do not do some eating control I might be there very soon, and that is my biggest fear in life........
So I will now again try to take control of my eating habits. It is insane as I get up from the dinner table, eaten a good meal and 2 minutes later I am in the pantry rummaging for sweets, chocolates or anything I can lay my hands on. The more I try to control the more my brain says "I AM FRICKEN HUNGRY!!!!!"
Frustrations at the moment are.
1. Hannes leaves in 2 weeks.
2. Still do not have accommodation in Dubai.
3. I have to look after all here in SA on my own. Surgery and home side.
4. Sell the house and the cars.
cancel all un needed bank accounts.
5. Cancel mail box.
6. Reroute all mail.
Don't want to think of more right now.
Ah shit hold me down as I am on my way to the pantry again......

My mom leaves back to cape town tomorrow. We have an early airport start as she is leaving at 9h00
Tomorrow night we have a "lekker" night as all the dinner club friends will have a bunfight with Clydene.
This might be Hannes's last weekend in Umdloti.

Dian is really loving the choir tour in Germany. he has posted some foto's on facebook . I think he is learning at every passing minute. So glad we can give him this experience.

Rossi's luggage the other day had me laughing as I am always so over when ever I return BUT I did not think of myself but of maria.
When she returned to new Zealand she was so totally overweight on the luggage we had to have her carry close to 25kg hand luggage. Luckily Kobus Wiese (ex SA rugby player) was on the same flight and we asked him to help her. The hand luggage was mostly foto albums of her year in SA.
What she weighed in to New Zealand was also a hellava lot.... Miss you my sweetie pie and still have lots of giggles of your year in SA.
Remember matric farewell.....
Live you lots.
Well all for now and I will stay out the pantry today hopefully.

BAGGAGE RUNS IN THE FAMILY

Rossouw saying goodbye to Rita(left) and Promise(right). My house keeper and gardener. There were tears all around. Rita has been with us for 15 years so Rossouw was 4 when she joined us. She loved and spoiled the boys rotten. Always had a smile for them. Promise is the gardener and has been with us for 5 years. She adores the boys(I think it is a Zulu thing) as boys are kings and are treated as such
Rita and promise might not see Rossouw again.

Rossouw at the airport on his way back to university. This boy arrived with ONE bag. It is the small one on top of the others 10 days ago. he is so like his mother. he went back with set of golf clubs, 2 huge bags and pc screen. His luggage was 69kg..
The airline was very sweet and did not charge us any extra as he had to clean out his belonging for the big move.


He is a little bummed as the rugby match which he had to go back earlier was cancelled today but his flight had already been booked. So he is off to varsity 4 days earlier that he had to.
He was very quiet as he had to say goodbye to his DAD. He will only see him again in 6 months time.
I will miss him at home as the whole house vibrates with him inside as he is very busy and all over the place. Always near and noisy and lively.

This goodbye number is very hard on all of us. You have to pick up roots no pull out roots aggressively and go and replant again in new rules and stuff. My dog Colonel is at my side every living moment. He just lays down where ever I am and just looks at me. Since Shadow has gone he seems very lonely. His eyes are filled with absolute love and adoration. I wonder if he senses anything about the move. I wonder if pets can feel your feelings and respond to them.......

My car is still up for sale.... the economy is not very good at the moment to sell either cars or houses but I am a firm believer in everything happens for the right reason and always for your best advantage.
All for today.

AFTER THE WEEK-END

It was a crazy week end. Dian left for a 3 week tour with the Kearsney choir to Europe to attend the choir Olympics. he is photographer and general cook and bottle washer.
He was so excited on the airport. He could not wait for me to leave for him to start his own thing. I hope he has a wonderful time and enjoys every minute. Such wonderful experience to travel and see the world.

Saturday was a quiet day at home. I made "mommas burgers" for lunch. They are monstrous but delicious. Saturday evening I made a prawn and chicken cream pasta. To die for i tell you.
Sunday was show house. The whole family got up and mucked in. This house was so clean and sparkling.... Even I would have bought it.
We made ourselves scarce and went for lunch at the Richards hotel. They have a fantastic carvery and boy did we pig out. We invited two of our friends with for lunch. Gerhard and Ria.
Gerhard is an orchid grower and such a dear friend. Those type of friends you can phone any time with anything and it is OK. Ria is such a special friend too. Always knows what is potting in your life and really loves and cares for you. I will miss them dearly.

The show house was not such a success as only 4 couple came to look. But we will press on regardless.
Rossi is leaving back to university tomorrow. I will miss this noisy lively son of mine. he is such a soft one but will never show it. he did well in his mid year exams and we are proud of him
JC (my eldest) is really loving his dancing career. he is doing exams in 2 weeks so he is dancing and practising his lungs out. he still loves it very much
All i can ask is that my boys are happy in what they do and that they are upstanding citizens.

On the not so nice front. One of Dian's friends (18years old) was mugged at knife point a few days ago. This boy is rattled but in one piece.
What the hell is happening to this country.............
I go back to hospital on Wednesday for a followup on the kidney stones. Hope it is an in and out situation.
Well all for today.

THIS IS NOT FOR "SISSIES"

I have been busy with the month end work. So have not had much time for anything else.
So wonderful to get comments from friends. Thanks Clydene and Leeann.
I am not the best at writing stories so all this comes from the hart and feelings on my sleeve.
Hannes is a little unsettled with this whole move thing. All the what iffs and wondering if he is doing the right thing are now surfacing. The excitement now has different aspects.....
3 of My boys are home for holidays. Every night some one else has to do the supper. It is such fun and very interesting in what we eat. So "lekker" to see that the boys can cook and feed the family.
Tonight however is my turn in cooking.....
Dian leaves for Europe tomorrow on his choir tour. He is very excited and can't wait. I am very glad for him to have this experience. he does not sing at all so you might wonder why he is going on choir tour to the choir Olympics.... Well he is the choir photographer and helps with the discipline in the choir and in general helps with all stage stuff etc.
Niecie (Rossouw's ex girlfriend) is also visiting for 2 weeks. The two of them amaze me. They are such good friends and the fact that they still get along so well and can only be friends is fantastic.
She is a superb girl and fits in all the family samatics so well. She just gets along with everybody.
She has to cook on Friday night an dis stressing......

Jc (my eldest son) has said that he will take Rambo (my parrot) I am very relieved that Rambo stays in the family. JC will just have to give lots of attention. Crazy how one never thinks of pets in the way as when you have to fork them out............. Rambo was always my barometer of how the hell in I am with Hannes.
If I really got mad and thought now I leave for good(which happens in all marriages I suppose)
Rambo was packed and did the run away with me...... But both of us normally returned a few days later as It never was right to leave permanently.... If I now get the "moer" in in Dubai who the hell runs with me????????????????????????????? Maybe I must get a pet camel . Hell what a statement to rock up at a hotel with your pet camel !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Niecie, my mom and I are all doing the hairdressing number today. Just a little spoil for the girls.

Oh my washing machine has decided to pack up here on the end of the road. I am not buying one now so poor Rita (my housekeeper) is washing all by hand....back to the dark ages hey!!!

No new people to look at our house but Sunday we are having an open day. We will leave the house to the agent for the day. Hold thumbs as I would really like to sell the house before we leave.
Ok all this was just a update in general. Hope to have some funny, exciting and new stuff for you tomorrow....